RecyclerView - Get view at particular position
This is what you're looking for.
I had this problem too. And like you, the answer is very hard to find. But there IS an easy way to get the ViewHolder from a specific position (something you'll probably do a lot in the Adapter).
myRecyclerView.findViewHolderForAdapterPosition(pos);
NOTE: If the View has been recycled, this will return null. Thanks to Michael for quickly catching my important omission.
I suppose you are using a LinearLayoutManager to show the list. It has a nice method called findViewByPosition that
Finds the view which represents the given adapter position.
All you need is the adapter position of the item you are interested in.
edit: as noted by Paul Woitaschek in the comments, findViewByPosition is a method of LayoutManager so it would work with all LayoutManagers (i.e. StaggeredGridLayoutManager, etc.)
If you want the View, make sure to access the itemView property of the ViewHolder like so: myRecyclerView.findViewHolderForAdapterPosition(pos).itemView;