Cannot load C:/php/php7apache2_4.dll into server: %1 is not a valid Win32 application
No idea what the explicit problem was but I just deleted all PHP files I downloaded and redownloaded/unzipped them, just like I did originally, placed them in corresponding folders like they were before and it works now.
Still very perplexed by why I had to do that for it to work but it works now which is all I wanted.
Good day!