Any HTTP proxies with explicit, configurable support for request/response buffering and delayed connections?
Nginx can do everything you want. The configuration parameters you are looking for are
http://wiki.codemongers.com/NginxHttpCoreModule#client_body_buffer_size
and
http://wiki.codemongers.com/NginxHttpProxyModule#proxy_buffer_size
Fiddler, a free tool from Telerik, does at least some of the things you're looking for.
Specifically, go to Rules | Custom Rules... and you can add arbitrary Javascript code at all points during the connection. You could simulate some of the things you need with sleep() calls.
I'm not sure this method gives you the fine buffering control you want, however. Still, something might be better than nothing?